Have you lost someone you’ve loved? Maybe a few? This is our destination, our future and our life, as well. I have been reflecting more closely on the rest of my short life on this planet.

I wonder if it’ll be only a day, an hour or a breath. I reflect on those who come to take care of my life and belongings after I’m gone. I feel their pain, their sorrow. Tears rolling down with every item of mine they pick up. Every shelf they have to box, every clothing they touch.

How incredibly unkind, I think of myself, for leaving so much behind for my loved ones to take care of. This motivates me to become more aware of my surroundings. In every corner there are things I do not really need. I set out to clear things, give away and reduce the suffering of my loved ones after my death. I am still relatively young, but look, death has no set rules of arrival.

The tragic death of George Floyd evoking-humanity to wake up from the cool comfortable space of ignorance and the sudden loss of my beloved friend, Joel McNenny, have energized a more serious reflection on my purpose in life. My end goals for my practice. How my life as well as my death would impact others. I reflect more deeply on ways I could uphold my ultimate values. The values of happiness and non-harming.

This life, truly is a mystery. It is fantastic how our perception and relationship to this life have so much to do with the way we experience it.

I reflect on my deep desires to stop and wonder off to far away lands I’ve never seen before. Where the sunshine illuminates every little presence and where the darkness of caves hide treasures and threats. To meet each and every creature, to bow to their life, their uniqueness and to their drive for existence. To become one with each, as closely as I can muster up imagination, compassion and love. To feel their fears and joys. To be invisible so not to take up anyone’s space and happiness.

His death particularly inspires me, propels me to renew my vow to continue to be a better person. More conscious and compassionate. More joyful, grateful, and content. But to never stop looking for the causes of my happiness and suffering, never stop honesty and courage to face my own shadows and daemons. And never stop blossoming into a new fresh birth as the morning dew is born on the delicate white petals of an almond blossom.

I ask,

What are your deepest values and desires?

How will you uphold them?

What will you practice for the rest of this short life?