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    Who Is Your (BFF) Best Friend For Life?

    December 23, 2019
    By Dr. Manijeh Motaghy – Founder of Perfectly Here and Mindful Business Institute. Affiliate MARC UCLA Teacher, Doctor of Psychology in Management Consulting. Member of International Mindfulness Teachers Association.

    Retreat

    I’m back from ten days of meditation and silence. It was a precious time to reflect, see my mind, my desires, my aspirations, my path and my friends on the path. Sitting in meditation over and over, walking in silence and receiving teachings and instructions several times a day, as always, proved most fruitful. At times, I had to grapple with thoughts of aversion and desire, feeling enraged towards unwholesome intentions and acts of others. Then, noticing those obsessive thoughts as impurities arising within myself and I was letting them contaminate my heart and life. I took it upon myself to clean them up. To uproot them, to turn my mind into wholesome states of kindness and peace. But I realized, what I see in my mind is a reflection, not the reality of things. So, I had to figure this out.

    Upside Down

    Gazing at the peaceful pond, there they were, the tall pine, small bushes and shrubbery reflecting perfectly into the water. I noticed, they looked upside down! As if the tips of the trees were on the bottom and their roots towards the sky. It was confusing. “Is that how insight appears in the mind, upside down?” It seemed like my mind was peaceful, still and clear. I could see my thoughts and their activity, but was I seeing them upside down? Not so accurately? I stood there for a long time pondering this and finally realized I was using a tool, the mind, that can change perspectives, twist reality and deem it real. Huh, “Just walk and be,” I told myself, and walked away.

    My Best Friend

    I remembered one of the lessons, the previous day, was about how we realize things, as in “real-ize.” We either make them real or we may see them as they are. It’s a tricky game.  I called upon my good old friend, Gratitude. She has always been one of my inner best friends. In bad times and in good times, she’s there to sooth me, delight my heart and make things real for me. She’s a keeper. An Inner-Best-Friend For life, my very own IBFF. 🙂
    Gratitude took me out of my head into the real spaciousness of the earth. I became whole, integrated, not separate and stopped trying to figure it all out. I felt-well, happy and peaceful. No wounds caused by others could hurt me! It was then that I had my real insight. That I didn’t have to heal from any wounds in order to be happy!

    Do you have an (IBFF), inner best friend for life ?

    A friend that you can rely on to save you from yourself, to sooth you and be kind to you. To be honest with you and put you back on the right track? It’s a great benefit to develop one within yourself to call upon anywhere and anytime you need one. And yes, this IBFF can be learned, created and cultivated.
    Self-Compassion is another IBFF of mine. I’ll be teaching about how to cultivate your inner resources to be your best friend in good times and in bad. Here is that info: MAPS II: Cultivating Self-Compassion

    For more

    Expert blogs and Dr. Motaghy’s teachings go to: https://perfectlyhere.org/blog/